Being a female is hard.
I sometimes think people just don't understand how hard it can be, being so emotionally wired - it makes life confusing some days if you don't know how to manage it!
I have been doing a LOT of thinking, into all the weird things I do OR have done in the past, which lead to a delayed unhappiness or confusion now - and I'm like heck, some girls out there MUST do these things that make people, our partners or our family think we're crazy... I promise you, we ARENT! We are just unaware as to why we do what we do! BUT you can learn, and you can learn how to slowly manage things better and manage your life a little better. I'm still learning, but I thought I'd share with you what I've learnt.
1. Indecision.
I swear I find it SO damn hard to make a decision.. if somebody asks me what I'd like to eat.. I swear I just hit a bit cloudy wall and end up mumbling gibberish .. until all that comes out is "I don't mind"
This happens ALWAYS around my partner.. I'm almost like, too scared to say what I want or just have no idea and am happy to go with the flow. I think almost every female must have felt this, or guy at this point! But when you do it ALL the time it can be so frustrating for your other half that they feel like banging their head against the wall. Then there usually comes the nice line, "Why can you just choose something?!" .. which usually leads me to breaking into tears, because this decision is so emotionally distressing I just want to crawl in a hole.
Anyyyway, how on earth do you make this easier for yourself and others? Make a list of things you like. Like, if we are out and about I have to pre think some things I"d like to do or things I'd like to eat - so I don't get stuck for ideas. If you have a brain like mine, you need to pre prepare to avoid an anxiety attack over the simple idea of wondering what to eat. Research around your town some cool places that you would feel comfortable going to - so when you're out you can rattle these ideas off in no time - leaving a smile on your face and a big sigh of relief from your friends or partner!
2. Mistrust & Being Sneaky - EVERY GIRL DOES THIS!
This is something that has crept into my life subconciously, leading me to not trust people in the NOW - I hold memories or things that have happened to me in the past dictate how I act now.. and it's not fair on those who I love.
Checking your partners phone, facebook - I think EVERY girl has done things, regardless if she says she hasn't and never would, I bet my life she has thought about it - I've done it, thought about it - and it ALWAYS ends up bad. Regardless. You go on somebody's device or into their personal messages out of curiosity.. its exciting, you feel naughty.. yet you set yourself up to pick away at the SMALLEST thing and make it a big deal, leaving you with a torn reality and perception - causing you to be the brunt of the 'mistrust' - seriously, I'm not going to lie about it. It's so apparent in SO many females, secretly talking behind their partners backs about shit they have seen, yet they keep it so secret and deny they do it. Best thing I've found is to actually just be completely honest, instead of the grape vine catching up on you - its better to just be upfront and DISCUSS your insecurities, and discuss something you have seen. If this person really loves you then you will deserve the truth. If they lie, they are fuck heads and its pointless even trying. Sorry for the brutal honesty, but you DESERVE honesty from everybody in your life. If they tell you something because it's 'easier not to tell you to avoid conflict' this can be a bad and good thing - it depends on the situation. But at least repsect they do care for your emotions, and if its pointless it probably is pointless!
This brings me too..
3. Insecurites.
I'm SUCH a huge culprit for this. Comparison really is the thief of joy. I was at a point I couldn't hang out with my friends or go out in public - simply because I was SO insecure I wasn't the tall, skinny girl with a huge friend group. I wasn't good at sport - because of my anorexia. I like the be a hermit, isolating myself in society because it was easier to do that than actually make an effort.
I would be insecure about all the things I hated about myself, mainly my legs and the way I saw my reflection. Which then would lead me to compare myself, consciously and subconsciously to every girl I saw - at the mall, the gym on the street. If somebody was better looking then me or skinner, I automatically hated her guts.. if she was bigger, I felt I had one up on her.
My advice her? Get the fuck over yourself. Seriously. This is plain just your ego being STUPID!!! What you think of others is just a reflection of your own insecurities - and I say this from harsh experience! I would do it ALL the time.. I sometimes still do! But its not as bad. If your ego is controlling your life, you will lead a very insecure and miserable life without really being true to yourself. There's a happy balance between the ego and spirit - finding this comes by being really, brutally honest with yourself and the things that lead to insecurities and a sense of being 'lost' or 'stuck'
4. Overthinking & taking everything personally.
This old chesnut! DUDE, I still do this everyday, it drives me UP the wall - but it can be managed and you can recognize it to deal with it better!
If my partner or someone close to me says something, like how they feel - I totally overlook it and overthink it. I seriously will go into the most complex situation, go to the biggest extreme - and naturally think of the worst possible thing because I like to 'prepare' myself for the worse.
I will think of every possible outcome - and choose the worst because it seems 'most likely' - which is just a reflection of insecurities. All of these things I'm discussing ROLL and merge together and link into one big mush - so I like to deal with them seperately.
If someone close to me says "God, your difficult"
I will think.
"God.. yeah I am. Fuck. I'm so sorry. I must be such a horrible person to be around. Why are you even with me? You'd be so better with somebody else. Your probably going to leave me. Your definately going to leave me." Then I start finding people better than me and making this 'thought' a reality thinking that person is going to leave my life because I'm being an insecure, difficult fuckhead.
Wow.
How do you get past this? I literally tell them all the above. My partner, my boss, my family..
"Hey, I'm going to be completely honest with you here - but this is what is going through my head, its going to sound crazy (answering my own problem here) but just hear me out... and HELP ME!"
And I tell them what goes thru my head, and they are like... WOW that is so wrong lol.
If somebody gives me honest critisim, I take it personally too - I think IM a bad person and I've made all these mistakes that are completely irrelevant.
If you find yourself going into a tangent. I use breathing techniques. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Remind myself of all the people in my life, and why they love me. What do I love about myself. This removes any reason for somebody to be in my head and me thinking they are going to 'leave me' and removes the personal hate because I realize, I AM a worthy, awesome person - anybody who doesn't agree is not worthy of being in my life!
It takes time, but work on it! Just TALK and be honest and open to those you love - they will stick by your side! If they don't they can just get stuffed lol.
5. Guilt. Regret. Bad food days. Bad body image days.
I swear we all have these, just to different extents! Mine were prettttttty much on the "I'm going to DIE" end of the scale, but it's scaled down now to just "Oh woopsies. Meh she'll be right!" And just moving on with life.
The way I've removed the whole 'binge' aspect and removed a 'bad food day' is literally just a change of perspective. There is no wagon. There is no diet. It's just food. There is NOTHING WRONG with being hungry or eating a bit more than usual. It's okay to indulge. If you eat well 300 days of the year thats only 65 days of indulgence - I think you'll survive. Remove your self worth from your weight or 'what you ate' - your worth SO much more than that. Your heart, your strength, your ability to love and give and care are all things that are NOT DEFINED by your weight, your image and 'a bad food day' - It has taken me YEARS to get over this but I can say it is possible to make it to the other side. With patience, perseverance and REFUSING to give in.
If you need to cry, you cry.
Be honest with your partner, your family and your friends. Write a blog. Just express, help yourself to understand why you do these things - self therapy and self love is something truly powerful.
Anyway. These are some crazy things I have done/still do.
I hope they help you be okay with being a women!! :) It's a pretty cool experience, it's hard - but hey, nothing worth having comes easy!
If you have some more weird girl things that we do, please comment below or on the link I provided! I'd LOVE to hear them!!
xx Sam
Friday, 25 April 2014
Monday, 21 April 2014
An update for you all!
Well, I havent wrote a blog in a wee while! I'm sitting here waiting for my car to be fixed - what better thing to do than BLOG!!!
It's been a whirlwind few weeks for me emotionally, physically and all! So this blog is more or less just going to be a wee update as to where I'm at!
#1 I'm happy! Even though I have moments of anxiety still and moments where I get frustrated at a few things - the more I look at my life I realise I have things pretty freakin good, which is something in itself! So I'm very blessed and grateful.
My foods been really good - eating all high carb raw vegan and maybe only 1 cooked meal every couple of days, so I've been working real hard on eating more greens and less fats :) My weight has gone up a wee bit - but it is to be expected in a high carb raw vegan diet until my body learns to metabolise the calories - so no more calorie crunching, just lots and lots of yummy fresh fruit and vegetables! It's been a challenge in itself learning to NOT focus on 'losing weight' and trying to 'get this body that I want' and instead focusing on nourishing myself from the INSIDE out - and I can tell you, by giving my body and mind that focus it has removed a lot of stress about my weight and about my binge eating. I haven't binged in SO long now just from removing the fact that there is no 'wagon' to be on, just live and eat for nourishment of your soul. It truly works! I always thought it was absolute bollocks and hoo-doo voo-doo talk but I shit you not, I feel so much more relaxed around food and can get really creative - and I don't freak out eating 5 bananas a day! YES I have 5 bananas a day! Haha.
Would you guys like me to do 'What I eat in a day' sections so you can see what I eat in a day as being a high carb raw vegan? And how I coped with the intial weight gain? Not everybody gains weight at the start, but it is common and it happened to me - so I'm happy to educate you on how to avoid this and how to combat it and let your body do what it needs to do to get where it wants to be! I'm slowly starting to lean out, but I feel much more lighter and fresher and more energized.. I like this style of eatnig because I dont stress out every 3 hours if I miss a meal or I don't stress out if I eat too many carbs! I eat SO many carbs and I live in abundance so there is absolutely no restriction, which means - no more bingessss! Yay! My brain is happy haha!
Physically I have just been doing Yoga! I've been a bit slack as of late but I get there when I can! I can now do a tripod headstand and a feathered peacock so my arm balancing is coming along really cool! I love yoga because I don't end up staring at my muscles all the time and bagging myself out for being too 'fat' (according to the voice in my head some days) - its just me, the yoga mat and my breath. It's super relaxing and hard work in a hot room!
I still am very insecure about my legs - I struggle with having cellulite that I'm not used to having! But its one of those things I know I am just gonna have to accept! It's all piled on really fast because of my hormones - I was on the pill but has since gone off after getting a weird rash, a 3 week period (sorry boys) and a big increase in weight and water retention that did my head in. So Im looking forward to being 'normal' for a bit and getting a copper IUD put in! Hopefully that helps me balance things out.
Anxiety wise I still have a few attacks - its more or less over general life stuff/relationship stuff that is pointless explaining on here - lets just say I'm a very sensitive person and take way too much personally!
I still procrastinate heaps - i'm working on it! Kinda haha. (There it goes again!!!) but with the help of my supportive team at work and at home I cannot complain! They always make sure I'm in line and pull me in if I'm not. I respect their honesty! I'm going to start a wee meal prep busssss in CHCH for all my friends and others that struggle to prep meals or keep on track! So this is a new wee project I'm very excited about.
Anyways, this is Murphy over and out!
x
It's been a whirlwind few weeks for me emotionally, physically and all! So this blog is more or less just going to be a wee update as to where I'm at!
#1 I'm happy! Even though I have moments of anxiety still and moments where I get frustrated at a few things - the more I look at my life I realise I have things pretty freakin good, which is something in itself! So I'm very blessed and grateful.
My foods been really good - eating all high carb raw vegan and maybe only 1 cooked meal every couple of days, so I've been working real hard on eating more greens and less fats :) My weight has gone up a wee bit - but it is to be expected in a high carb raw vegan diet until my body learns to metabolise the calories - so no more calorie crunching, just lots and lots of yummy fresh fruit and vegetables! It's been a challenge in itself learning to NOT focus on 'losing weight' and trying to 'get this body that I want' and instead focusing on nourishing myself from the INSIDE out - and I can tell you, by giving my body and mind that focus it has removed a lot of stress about my weight and about my binge eating. I haven't binged in SO long now just from removing the fact that there is no 'wagon' to be on, just live and eat for nourishment of your soul. It truly works! I always thought it was absolute bollocks and hoo-doo voo-doo talk but I shit you not, I feel so much more relaxed around food and can get really creative - and I don't freak out eating 5 bananas a day! YES I have 5 bananas a day! Haha.
Would you guys like me to do 'What I eat in a day' sections so you can see what I eat in a day as being a high carb raw vegan? And how I coped with the intial weight gain? Not everybody gains weight at the start, but it is common and it happened to me - so I'm happy to educate you on how to avoid this and how to combat it and let your body do what it needs to do to get where it wants to be! I'm slowly starting to lean out, but I feel much more lighter and fresher and more energized.. I like this style of eatnig because I dont stress out every 3 hours if I miss a meal or I don't stress out if I eat too many carbs! I eat SO many carbs and I live in abundance so there is absolutely no restriction, which means - no more bingessss! Yay! My brain is happy haha!
Physically I have just been doing Yoga! I've been a bit slack as of late but I get there when I can! I can now do a tripod headstand and a feathered peacock so my arm balancing is coming along really cool! I love yoga because I don't end up staring at my muscles all the time and bagging myself out for being too 'fat' (according to the voice in my head some days) - its just me, the yoga mat and my breath. It's super relaxing and hard work in a hot room!
I still am very insecure about my legs - I struggle with having cellulite that I'm not used to having! But its one of those things I know I am just gonna have to accept! It's all piled on really fast because of my hormones - I was on the pill but has since gone off after getting a weird rash, a 3 week period (sorry boys) and a big increase in weight and water retention that did my head in. So Im looking forward to being 'normal' for a bit and getting a copper IUD put in! Hopefully that helps me balance things out.
Anxiety wise I still have a few attacks - its more or less over general life stuff/relationship stuff that is pointless explaining on here - lets just say I'm a very sensitive person and take way too much personally!
I still procrastinate heaps - i'm working on it! Kinda haha. (There it goes again!!!) but with the help of my supportive team at work and at home I cannot complain! They always make sure I'm in line and pull me in if I'm not. I respect their honesty! I'm going to start a wee meal prep busssss in CHCH for all my friends and others that struggle to prep meals or keep on track! So this is a new wee project I'm very excited about.
Anyways, this is Murphy over and out!
x
Monday, 7 April 2014
What to expect when going Vegan/Raw Vegan - How to do it the easy way!
Transitioning into ANY new way of life and living is hard!
You literally turn upside down everything you know and try to break old habits and form new ones - all at the same time! It's confusing, exhausting and sometimes a little disheartening if you don't understand what's going on!
So, after following a strict bodybuilding diet mixed in with a few weekly binge episodes - I have managed to transform my life into a life of abundance - eating what I want, when I want - and it's full of raw, vegan foods and vegan treats that are SO easy to make - no more binges, just lots and lots of food I LOVE that keeps weight off without STRESSING everday about what you're putting into your mouth.
So, firstly - HOW do you do it?
An easy and safe transition is to make SMART swaps - Swap your breakfast for fruits/veggies. Swap your lunch for fruits/veggies/nuts and your dinner for fruits/veges/nuts - snacks should be fruits/veges. (Freeze them, blend them, make icecream!!!!)
So that's the BASICS - now, there is SO much room to be creative in a vegan lifestyle - meaning you can literally make ALL your fave foods using a simple recipe base and procedure! Visit my Beautifully Raw facebook page for easy recipes that you can use in replacement of your normal meals.
www.facebook.com/rawbeautynz
What to be ready for and what to expect!?!
- Don't expect things to all of a sudden change overnight.
Maybe focus on changing ONE meal a day - eating that meal all week then adding a new meal the following week, maybe up your water intake or add more veges and fruits to your normal meals, until you get to a point where you can eliminate all dairy/meat/animal bi-products/processed foods, and load up on what you need. The extra nutrients and vitamins reduce cravings, reduce bloating - which overall adds to feeling lighter and more energized!
- Be prepared for slip ups! I'm still not 100% there - I'm about 95% there, 2x a week I might have a quest bar or 5 (simply because I can't resist!) or I might have a larger amount of fats somewhere - but its okay! Allow your mind and body to have what it needs - the rest will fall into place! You're not instantly going to get fat after eating 4 quest bars! Give yourself a break, your eating better than 99% of the world!
- DONT EAT TOO MANY FATS!!! This was a HUGE mistake I made at first, leading to a lot of unwanted weight gain which left me SOOO confused!! I ate nuts, seeds, nuts, scroggin, nut butters in large quantaties and little fruit or veg - MAKE it the other way around. 10% of your daily calories should come from Nuts/Seeds/Avocado. (That's like a small handful or two.)
- Delete myfitnesspal and stop tracking everything!!! You'll drive yourself insane. Removing these from your life or having 'set meals times' will make it SO much easier. Sometimes I go like 4 -5 hours without eating but I'm FINE, I'm energized and I look forward to my next meal without stressing about an anabolic window. I have learnt to LISTEN to my body, sometimes my mind still gets the the way but that's honestly just life! You'll survive. It's a practise :)
- OMG WHERE THE HECK DO I GET MY PROTEIN??!?! Omg. This makes me lose my mind lol. Protein sources are abundantly found in plant based foods eg broccoli, spinach, chickpeas, bulghur what, quinoa and many more. Do your research and LEARN how to make this work!
Exercise DAILY for your mind, not for physical purposes. The physical benefits will come if everything is in place :)
I hope this helps you! Remember I'm always here. Just be patient with this process and ease into it - all or nothing usually will just drive your mind INSANE!
Remember also to SUPPLEMENTATE correctly - with calcium, magnesium, zinc, B12 and 5-HTP - this will help you keep your stress levels down and keep your body in well running order!
Be prepared to poop a lot more too lol.
X Sam @ Beautifully Raw.
You literally turn upside down everything you know and try to break old habits and form new ones - all at the same time! It's confusing, exhausting and sometimes a little disheartening if you don't understand what's going on!
So, after following a strict bodybuilding diet mixed in with a few weekly binge episodes - I have managed to transform my life into a life of abundance - eating what I want, when I want - and it's full of raw, vegan foods and vegan treats that are SO easy to make - no more binges, just lots and lots of food I LOVE that keeps weight off without STRESSING everday about what you're putting into your mouth.
So, firstly - HOW do you do it?
An easy and safe transition is to make SMART swaps - Swap your breakfast for fruits/veggies. Swap your lunch for fruits/veggies/nuts and your dinner for fruits/veges/nuts - snacks should be fruits/veges. (Freeze them, blend them, make icecream!!!!)
So that's the BASICS - now, there is SO much room to be creative in a vegan lifestyle - meaning you can literally make ALL your fave foods using a simple recipe base and procedure! Visit my Beautifully Raw facebook page for easy recipes that you can use in replacement of your normal meals.
www.facebook.com/rawbeautynz
What to be ready for and what to expect!?!
- Don't expect things to all of a sudden change overnight.
Maybe focus on changing ONE meal a day - eating that meal all week then adding a new meal the following week, maybe up your water intake or add more veges and fruits to your normal meals, until you get to a point where you can eliminate all dairy/meat/animal bi-products/processed foods, and load up on what you need. The extra nutrients and vitamins reduce cravings, reduce bloating - which overall adds to feeling lighter and more energized!
- Be prepared for slip ups! I'm still not 100% there - I'm about 95% there, 2x a week I might have a quest bar or 5 (simply because I can't resist!) or I might have a larger amount of fats somewhere - but its okay! Allow your mind and body to have what it needs - the rest will fall into place! You're not instantly going to get fat after eating 4 quest bars! Give yourself a break, your eating better than 99% of the world!
- DONT EAT TOO MANY FATS!!! This was a HUGE mistake I made at first, leading to a lot of unwanted weight gain which left me SOOO confused!! I ate nuts, seeds, nuts, scroggin, nut butters in large quantaties and little fruit or veg - MAKE it the other way around. 10% of your daily calories should come from Nuts/Seeds/Avocado. (That's like a small handful or two.)
- Delete myfitnesspal and stop tracking everything!!! You'll drive yourself insane. Removing these from your life or having 'set meals times' will make it SO much easier. Sometimes I go like 4 -5 hours without eating but I'm FINE, I'm energized and I look forward to my next meal without stressing about an anabolic window. I have learnt to LISTEN to my body, sometimes my mind still gets the the way but that's honestly just life! You'll survive. It's a practise :)
- OMG WHERE THE HECK DO I GET MY PROTEIN??!?! Omg. This makes me lose my mind lol. Protein sources are abundantly found in plant based foods eg broccoli, spinach, chickpeas, bulghur what, quinoa and many more. Do your research and LEARN how to make this work!
Exercise DAILY for your mind, not for physical purposes. The physical benefits will come if everything is in place :)
I hope this helps you! Remember I'm always here. Just be patient with this process and ease into it - all or nothing usually will just drive your mind INSANE!
Remember also to SUPPLEMENTATE correctly - with calcium, magnesium, zinc, B12 and 5-HTP - this will help you keep your stress levels down and keep your body in well running order!
Be prepared to poop a lot more too lol.
X Sam @ Beautifully Raw.
Thursday, 3 April 2014
Raw Whipped Pistachio Icecream (Dairy Free)
Super easy and super nutritious, you wouldn't even know it had avocado and spinach in it! :)
RAW PISTACHIO ICECREAM
1/2c pistachio's (shelled) & soaked.
1/2c raw cashews (soaked in hot water)
5 medjool dates (soaked in hot water)
1 frozen banana
1 cup spinach
1 large avocado
3/4c almond milk OR coconut milk
Blend all ingredients until it turns into a smooth whip - place in a bowl and dress with shelled pistachio's and goji berries.
Eat right away OR freeze for an icier texture.
Enjoy!
x Sam :)
Wednesday, 2 April 2014
Carrot Cake Icecream - Raw Vegan
After seeing an immense amount of carrot cakes on my news feed, I developed an absurd craving for carrot cake. Not cake, but just the taste.
So, I hereby pronounce you - CARROT CAKE ICECREAM! Vegan and dairy free - and full of goodness.
Jam packed full of carrots you say? Yep. Carrots are high in Vitamin A - they also help prevent aging of the skin, are fantastic cleansing and detoxing foods and helps reduce cholesterol levels!
So, without future a due - here is my recipe.
CARROT CAKE ICECREAM (Vegan, Dairy free)
Ingredients:
2 large carrots, grated.
5 large medjool dates, soaked and pitted.
1 large frozen banana
3/4c almond or coconut milk
1 tbsp Almond Butter
Dash of cinnamon
Blend all ingredients in a food processor on HIGH until it turns thick and creamy.
You may eat it as is, but I like to put mine in the freezer for a bit of extra icy-creaminess.
Top with your choice of toppings!
You could top with low fat cream cheese if you aren't vegan, personally I topped with walnuts, chia seeds and natural agave!
Now, settle down with a nice book or movie and ENJOY the beauty of this dish.
XX Sam.
Tuesday, 1 April 2014
Dear Food: Thou shall not control my life! - Combat Binge Eating & Emotional Eating once and for all!
If you are anything like me - you will know what it feels like to revolve every second of every day around food. You will know what it's like to cancel of friends or appointments - just so you can be at home sitting in your own self pity with food.
It's blissful at the TIME - yes, but it's also heart destroying and soul destroying.
My relationship with food has been ruined for YEARS - I literally forgot how it was to eat 'normal'.
I spent all of my high-school years restricting my food intake and following a very regimental food plan I had set for myself to lose weight - I was never overweight, but I wanted to be skinnier and skinnier.
I still restricted after my Anorexia eating disorder - and I still battle with that to this day too. The only difference is I am a healthy weight - because of the fact my restricting was counteracted with a nasty binge eating disorder, which many of you have read through in my blog. Causing my body to fluctuate anywhere from 5 - 10kgs in a matter of a few days. It can be disheartening and very upsetting, especially when my brain has not caught up with the 30kg I have gained from when I was anorexic. I still sometimes find it hard to see how I 'really' am - But I sure as hell am in a MUCH better space.
I remember, up in till not long ago - my whole day would revolve around when I was next going to eat! I would literally sit there and just imagine the taste, the experience, the thought of shoving as much food in my mouth as possible. I couldn't go out for dinner with my partner, because I would be imagining and creating a wee story in my head about the binge I was going to have at night - all the food I craved I would eat every single drop until I felt completely sick. My will power from comp prep had literally just walked right out of my life - and I was being thrown around left right and center with the temptations and war of my head.
SO - what on earth have I done to change? Let me share with you.
Self talk is a very powerful thing - because everything you tell yourself in your head usually ends up being your reality, we are a product of our thoughts!
I 'expected' and 'envisioned' recovery as a 'wagon' - a wagon that is going pretty rocky so it was easy to fall off. This lead to 'falling off' being a very real thing for me - only to leave me on the dirt track having to get back up and start running to catch it again. Then I would stumble back on the 'wagon' frustrated for having let go, telling myself "God, I won't do that again" ... only to fall off that darn thing again.
** DO NOT IMAGINE A WAGON ** Do you see a wagon somewhere?? No!! It's your silly imagination that has created a healthy life being on a 'wagon' leaving it unattainable and out of reach a majority of the time! As soon as I removed the fact I was not on a WAGON and just walking down the road, observing, learning, talking, educating - I was okay. I didn't fall off. I tripped up, yes, but we all trip up sometimes when we walk. It can be on nothing too! Or it could be on a really big curb you just didn't see. So, cut yourself some slack. Your a human being - walking down the road of life and you should be choosing "Health & Wellness" Street as it's very good for you! ;) Not Self-sabotage Square!
I would tell myself 'Ugh - I'm probably going to live with this forever!'
By saying that, I already limited myself to ever getting rid of it.
You CAN rewire your brain. You have to be willing to work everyday to make better choices. You aren't going to learn all these amazing habits over night - but I can guarantee if you fight for the life you want to live and actually VISION yourself living that life - you'll be living it in 10 years time or less. 8 years ago I never thought I'd be recovered, until I told myself day in and day out "I want to do the things I want to do" - and look, I'm doing them. The laws of attraction are a very powerful thing!
Really asses what you want. I would live day in and day out trying to fight for this 'fitness model' look and lifestyle - but really, it wasn't who I was put on this earth to be. I look up to women who are on that journey as they are very inspiring. But I have grown to find inspiration for myself in other ways - there is a lot more to 'health and fitness' than just eating chicken and broccoli and going to the gym. I surrounded myself in that so I felt I had to 'be' that - but by choosing something I love, which is health awareness, yoga and mindfulness I feel very much at home.
Find your own 'home' in fitness - who cares what people say! You're always going to feel that, you just need to push through regardless of how you think others view you because, it really does NOT matter. People only really deep down want the best for you! So, find your wellness HOME and make it home. Draw inspiration and energy from the things you ENJOY!!!
Meditate every morning.
"Pfffft meditating is for hippies"
^^^ THEY are the people who need to meditate the most ironically.
If you never have, just try. I was extremely embarrassed and first and had the giggles, but once you calm your mind you are on your way to true peace. I have attached a pic at the bottom of a simple guide on how to meditate!
Food.
NOW, this is the hardest one because you need food to live - but foods the problem. It can be really confusing at times and upsetting! I know!
"Find what works for you" is a very generic term - but honestly, when was the last time you completely changed your food sources? I can guarantee that by trying something new until you find something you enjoy will help your body regulate to where it's meant to be! Instead of yoyo dieting and cutting out food groups - keep a balance. Balance is a scary word for a binge eater because we have ' no sense ' of balance. Balance is just a big 'too hard basket'... but have you actually TRIED? Have you believed you could? I didn't for a very long time until I started going meat free one day a week - those days I was meat free, I had balanced. It WORKED for me. So, I adopted 1 meat free day to 2, then to 3 until now I can go a whole week meat free.
Then it was dairy. I cut dairy out 1 day a week and did the same with meat - now I can proudly say I'm a raw vegan and it works for me!
EAT FOR ABUNDANCE. I honestly eat SO much - it keeps that part of my brain that LOVES food really satisfied by eating a giant plate of fruit and berries and a GIANT salad with vegetables and lemon juice - it keeps my body and my mind happy!
Start by maybe introducing a smoothie for breakfast; spinach, bananas, almond milk, dates etc - your body doesn't like digesting food to early, so I recommend drinking a big glass of water upon waking to get the system running!
YOGA
Yoga's not for everyone. But Yoga healed me. I've only been going to 3 weeks, but in that 3 weeks I have not binged or been inclined to, I haven't had food cravings, I've had a reduced appetite and have slimmed out eating the foods I love. It's a great feeling, and I highly recommend you try it. I go to HOT FLOW yoga in CHCH and enjoy the Bikram classes! I feel way more confident about my body and my body image is coming back to how it should be! Normal and healthy. Yes, I still have my off days and don't want to go in public but they are far and few between.
BE MINDFUL
Everyday - until you can do this unconsciously you are going to have to be mindful of your thoughts, actions and eating patterns. Recovery is a sensitive phase - your body and mind are opening to change so lots of habits can easily slip in! Sit back with your meal, experience the flavor and taste and be GRATEFUL that you get to eat an abundance of food you love -instead of wasting all that money and taste for something that doesn't serve you - like a binge. By being mindful, I just mean think wisely. You are in control of your thoughts believe it or not - so create nice ones, that make you FEEL good on the inside.
CLEAN out your facebook, instagram to only happy places. Recipes, words of wisdom, training advice - instead of anything that makes you feel negative about yourself. (For me it was fitness model pages etc)
I hope some of these tips help.
Remember, you aren't going to be cured over night.
X Namaste, Sam.
It's blissful at the TIME - yes, but it's also heart destroying and soul destroying.
My relationship with food has been ruined for YEARS - I literally forgot how it was to eat 'normal'.
I spent all of my high-school years restricting my food intake and following a very regimental food plan I had set for myself to lose weight - I was never overweight, but I wanted to be skinnier and skinnier.
I still restricted after my Anorexia eating disorder - and I still battle with that to this day too. The only difference is I am a healthy weight - because of the fact my restricting was counteracted with a nasty binge eating disorder, which many of you have read through in my blog. Causing my body to fluctuate anywhere from 5 - 10kgs in a matter of a few days. It can be disheartening and very upsetting, especially when my brain has not caught up with the 30kg I have gained from when I was anorexic. I still sometimes find it hard to see how I 'really' am - But I sure as hell am in a MUCH better space.
I remember, up in till not long ago - my whole day would revolve around when I was next going to eat! I would literally sit there and just imagine the taste, the experience, the thought of shoving as much food in my mouth as possible. I couldn't go out for dinner with my partner, because I would be imagining and creating a wee story in my head about the binge I was going to have at night - all the food I craved I would eat every single drop until I felt completely sick. My will power from comp prep had literally just walked right out of my life - and I was being thrown around left right and center with the temptations and war of my head.
SO - what on earth have I done to change? Let me share with you.
Self talk is a very powerful thing - because everything you tell yourself in your head usually ends up being your reality, we are a product of our thoughts!
I 'expected' and 'envisioned' recovery as a 'wagon' - a wagon that is going pretty rocky so it was easy to fall off. This lead to 'falling off' being a very real thing for me - only to leave me on the dirt track having to get back up and start running to catch it again. Then I would stumble back on the 'wagon' frustrated for having let go, telling myself "God, I won't do that again" ... only to fall off that darn thing again.
** DO NOT IMAGINE A WAGON ** Do you see a wagon somewhere?? No!! It's your silly imagination that has created a healthy life being on a 'wagon' leaving it unattainable and out of reach a majority of the time! As soon as I removed the fact I was not on a WAGON and just walking down the road, observing, learning, talking, educating - I was okay. I didn't fall off. I tripped up, yes, but we all trip up sometimes when we walk. It can be on nothing too! Or it could be on a really big curb you just didn't see. So, cut yourself some slack. Your a human being - walking down the road of life and you should be choosing "Health & Wellness" Street as it's very good for you! ;) Not Self-sabotage Square!
I would tell myself 'Ugh - I'm probably going to live with this forever!'
By saying that, I already limited myself to ever getting rid of it.
You CAN rewire your brain. You have to be willing to work everyday to make better choices. You aren't going to learn all these amazing habits over night - but I can guarantee if you fight for the life you want to live and actually VISION yourself living that life - you'll be living it in 10 years time or less. 8 years ago I never thought I'd be recovered, until I told myself day in and day out "I want to do the things I want to do" - and look, I'm doing them. The laws of attraction are a very powerful thing!
Really asses what you want. I would live day in and day out trying to fight for this 'fitness model' look and lifestyle - but really, it wasn't who I was put on this earth to be. I look up to women who are on that journey as they are very inspiring. But I have grown to find inspiration for myself in other ways - there is a lot more to 'health and fitness' than just eating chicken and broccoli and going to the gym. I surrounded myself in that so I felt I had to 'be' that - but by choosing something I love, which is health awareness, yoga and mindfulness I feel very much at home.
Find your own 'home' in fitness - who cares what people say! You're always going to feel that, you just need to push through regardless of how you think others view you because, it really does NOT matter. People only really deep down want the best for you! So, find your wellness HOME and make it home. Draw inspiration and energy from the things you ENJOY!!!
Meditate every morning.
"Pfffft meditating is for hippies"
^^^ THEY are the people who need to meditate the most ironically.
If you never have, just try. I was extremely embarrassed and first and had the giggles, but once you calm your mind you are on your way to true peace. I have attached a pic at the bottom of a simple guide on how to meditate!
Food.
NOW, this is the hardest one because you need food to live - but foods the problem. It can be really confusing at times and upsetting! I know!
"Find what works for you" is a very generic term - but honestly, when was the last time you completely changed your food sources? I can guarantee that by trying something new until you find something you enjoy will help your body regulate to where it's meant to be! Instead of yoyo dieting and cutting out food groups - keep a balance. Balance is a scary word for a binge eater because we have ' no sense ' of balance. Balance is just a big 'too hard basket'... but have you actually TRIED? Have you believed you could? I didn't for a very long time until I started going meat free one day a week - those days I was meat free, I had balanced. It WORKED for me. So, I adopted 1 meat free day to 2, then to 3 until now I can go a whole week meat free.
Then it was dairy. I cut dairy out 1 day a week and did the same with meat - now I can proudly say I'm a raw vegan and it works for me!
EAT FOR ABUNDANCE. I honestly eat SO much - it keeps that part of my brain that LOVES food really satisfied by eating a giant plate of fruit and berries and a GIANT salad with vegetables and lemon juice - it keeps my body and my mind happy!
Start by maybe introducing a smoothie for breakfast; spinach, bananas, almond milk, dates etc - your body doesn't like digesting food to early, so I recommend drinking a big glass of water upon waking to get the system running!
YOGA
Yoga's not for everyone. But Yoga healed me. I've only been going to 3 weeks, but in that 3 weeks I have not binged or been inclined to, I haven't had food cravings, I've had a reduced appetite and have slimmed out eating the foods I love. It's a great feeling, and I highly recommend you try it. I go to HOT FLOW yoga in CHCH and enjoy the Bikram classes! I feel way more confident about my body and my body image is coming back to how it should be! Normal and healthy. Yes, I still have my off days and don't want to go in public but they are far and few between.
BE MINDFUL
Everyday - until you can do this unconsciously you are going to have to be mindful of your thoughts, actions and eating patterns. Recovery is a sensitive phase - your body and mind are opening to change so lots of habits can easily slip in! Sit back with your meal, experience the flavor and taste and be GRATEFUL that you get to eat an abundance of food you love -instead of wasting all that money and taste for something that doesn't serve you - like a binge. By being mindful, I just mean think wisely. You are in control of your thoughts believe it or not - so create nice ones, that make you FEEL good on the inside.
CLEAN out your facebook, instagram to only happy places. Recipes, words of wisdom, training advice - instead of anything that makes you feel negative about yourself. (For me it was fitness model pages etc)
I hope some of these tips help.
Remember, you aren't going to be cured over night.
X Namaste, Sam.
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