Well, I havent wrote a blog in a wee while! I'm sitting here waiting for my car to be fixed - what better thing to do than BLOG!!!
It's been a whirlwind few weeks for me emotionally, physically and all! So this blog is more or less just going to be a wee update as to where I'm at!
#1 I'm happy! Even though I have moments of anxiety still and moments where I get frustrated at a few things - the more I look at my life I realise I have things pretty freakin good, which is something in itself! So I'm very blessed and grateful.
My foods been really good - eating all high carb raw vegan and maybe only 1 cooked meal every couple of days, so I've been working real hard on eating more greens and less fats :) My weight has gone up a wee bit - but it is to be expected in a high carb raw vegan diet until my body learns to metabolise the calories - so no more calorie crunching, just lots and lots of yummy fresh fruit and vegetables! It's been a challenge in itself learning to NOT focus on 'losing weight' and trying to 'get this body that I want' and instead focusing on nourishing myself from the INSIDE out - and I can tell you, by giving my body and mind that focus it has removed a lot of stress about my weight and about my binge eating. I haven't binged in SO long now just from removing the fact that there is no 'wagon' to be on, just live and eat for nourishment of your soul. It truly works! I always thought it was absolute bollocks and hoo-doo voo-doo talk but I shit you not, I feel so much more relaxed around food and can get really creative - and I don't freak out eating 5 bananas a day! YES I have 5 bananas a day! Haha.
Would you guys like me to do 'What I eat in a day' sections so you can see what I eat in a day as being a high carb raw vegan? And how I coped with the intial weight gain? Not everybody gains weight at the start, but it is common and it happened to me - so I'm happy to educate you on how to avoid this and how to combat it and let your body do what it needs to do to get where it wants to be! I'm slowly starting to lean out, but I feel much more lighter and fresher and more energized.. I like this style of eatnig because I dont stress out every 3 hours if I miss a meal or I don't stress out if I eat too many carbs! I eat SO many carbs and I live in abundance so there is absolutely no restriction, which means - no more bingessss! Yay! My brain is happy haha!
Physically I have just been doing Yoga! I've been a bit slack as of late but I get there when I can! I can now do a tripod headstand and a feathered peacock so my arm balancing is coming along really cool! I love yoga because I don't end up staring at my muscles all the time and bagging myself out for being too 'fat' (according to the voice in my head some days) - its just me, the yoga mat and my breath. It's super relaxing and hard work in a hot room!
I still am very insecure about my legs - I struggle with having cellulite that I'm not used to having! But its one of those things I know I am just gonna have to accept! It's all piled on really fast because of my hormones - I was on the pill but has since gone off after getting a weird rash, a 3 week period (sorry boys) and a big increase in weight and water retention that did my head in. So Im looking forward to being 'normal' for a bit and getting a copper IUD put in! Hopefully that helps me balance things out.
Anxiety wise I still have a few attacks - its more or less over general life stuff/relationship stuff that is pointless explaining on here - lets just say I'm a very sensitive person and take way too much personally!
I still procrastinate heaps - i'm working on it! Kinda haha. (There it goes again!!!) but with the help of my supportive team at work and at home I cannot complain! They always make sure I'm in line and pull me in if I'm not. I respect their honesty! I'm going to start a wee meal prep busssss in CHCH for all my friends and others that struggle to prep meals or keep on track! So this is a new wee project I'm very excited about.
Anyways, this is Murphy over and out!
x
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