Vegan, MIA and a new project!

Sorry I've been MIA haha. I honestly just haven't had the time I've wanted to dedicate to writing, and it would have all been pointless waffle lol! SOOOOOO yes, I must continue to remind myself that this blog, is ultimately for me. It's full of my opinion. My take on things. If you dont like what you're reading I'd nicely like to ask you to fuck off lol.

SO, what's been happening? I dont know how long for but I've cut meat from my diet - meaning I'm going mainly plant based. So I'm loading up on beans (chickpeas yuuuum, lentils- heeaps of lentils, black beans etc) and nuts, lots of nut butters lol, and heaps of veges!! Oh and my fave corn cakes! Nom nom nom. I'm feeling really good, it's actually changed my mindset on food quite a bit - i find myelf not stressing about my 'next meal' all the time, and I just eat when I'm hungry. If i want peanut butter, I'll have it. If i want this, I'll have it, if i want that, I'll have it. AND I haven't blown out in weight, if anything Im LOSING weight - slowly :) Im allocating myself 1 day where I can eat meat if I feel like it, otherwise I'll just carry on what Im doing because it's feeling really good for me!!!

Exercise wise I have just been doing whatever I feel like. If Im tired, I'll rest. Mainly I've been running, doing sprints and doing plyo. And a few weights here and there. I get bored with weights real fast, and my body naturally holds a shit load of muscle so I might train back and shoulders lol tthaaaats about it... call me lazy or whateever but I do what I enjoy. :)

Me and Josh have moved rooms - into a nice big room! yay. It's put me in a much better head space and I get a real nice working space now!

I've been working on a few things internally lately, mindfully being aware that I need to be my own person. I have a habit in relationships of putting my heart and soul into my partner, and I generally forget I exist and am a person too. and i take things to personally. and i cry. and i'm a loser. But aren't we all at some point? So I'm working on bettering my state of mind and being my own person TOO.
I'm a lover not a fighter, seriously I just want to wrap Josh in a blanket sometimes of love and never let him out lol, but I must be respectful of MYSELF and also the fact he's a person too ya know - with people feels and all. :)

It can be hard, because I'm a hermit - and I can't help but feel alone, I KNOW that I'm not alone, but it doesn't feel it sometimes. I sit in my own self pity sorrow mess sometimes and It can be hard to break out of!!

So yeah, DOING ME, More focus on me, I've actually decided to start my own ebook!!! I've been a busy woman doing what I love - cooking, photographing and designing.. it's so much fun. Can be hard to motivate myself at times cos currently I'm sitting in bed writing this and not working, but it's okay. It's a work in progress and I can't WAIT to release it!!!!

My bag was stolen from the gym last night too! So thanks fuckwit who stole that, goodbye nike bag with my CARKEYS my PHONE my WALLET lol geepers whats wrong with people these days!!!!!


Still a bit STUCK on what to do physically as a goal, But I think for now I shall just let it 'be'. I have no intention of competing just yet, comps are always gonna be there. For now I want to feel good about myself, have flexibility, try NEW things and just LIVE. Not be ruled by meal times and 'ooo im 100% commited' kinda shiz, cos I'm not. It doesn't serve me like it does others. If anything its just my Anorexic side that wants to be lean. As a human, a person, I couldn't give a fuck. But my ego, good old ego always says - Go on, you want to be lean. You want to look good.

Ahhhhhhhhh the ego, how I fucking hate it lol.


Anyways, enough rant. I better get back to some form of work.... my beds so comfy tho lol!!!!

XOXOO Smurphy :) Oh, and charlie!!!